MOBILE, Ala. (WKRG) — The home is where the heart is but if the roles of the family are out of balance that can create problems. We’re talking with Dr. Clint Archer, the senior pastor at Christ Fellowship Church in Mobile about his book The Home Team—what’s it about?
Guest: The Bible says to leave and cleave, and start a new family unit. This one-flesh unity is the key to the book. A common approach in marriage and parenting is that the problem is with a member of the family– with the other person. I encourage families to realize that they are all on the same team and that the problem is the opponent. E.g. a kid caught doing drugs… he/she is not the enemy. The drugs are the enemy, the child is a teammate. The team needs to close ranks and work together against the problem. That applies to financial problems, in-law interference, intimacy issues, and really anything the marriage or family faces.
How do you define the specific roles of a husband and wife in a family unit?
The Bible lays out God’s design for the family in clear terms. The book brings the Scriptures to bear on the family relationships: husbands (Team Captian) need to be loving, sacrificial, caring, providing leaders of their homes; wives (“MVPs”) need to be supportive, helpful supporters of their husbands as they lead; children need to get “off the bench” as it were and be engaged with their responsibilities in the family, to trust, honor, and submit to their parents.
How can families get out of balance?
Often when parents focus primarily on their children instead of on their marriages, the whole team gets out of sync. The husband-wife partnership must stay primary, and the kids will benefit.
What is the hardest part about these complementary roles?
Genesis 3 says that the husband-wife partnership is cursed and is inherently difficult, (just like work is cursed and inherently unsatisfying). The solution is to trust God and know his word and play your part, trusting God to honor his promises.