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‘Don’t Push My Kid Around’
By
News 5
Published: Thu, May 17, 2007 - 5:05 am
Last Updated: Tue, September 25, 2007 - 3:22 pm
Last Updated: Tue, September 25, 2007 - 3:22 pm
Unfortunately, bullying is a problem that has been around as long as most of us can remember. So, what has changed that makes it more of a problem for today's youth-
Kelsey Bryant works with close to 500 students a month through Lifelines Family Counseling Center. She says bullying is very different between boys and girls. "A lot of the bullying with guys is physical" said Bryant, "but girls, it gets in their head and they start believing what other girls are saying."
Bryant has seen an increase in depression and a decrease in self esteem amoung young girls. She says verbal abuse can be overlooked because it's not as obvious as fist fights. "From school to school, most of the bullies I see are girls," said Bryant, "These girls are being emotionally abused at school."
19 year old Amanda has asked that her identity be protected. She says that she has moved past the abuse she felt in high school, but is still healing from some of the attacks from her classmates. "They went to picking on my face, my looks, all different things," said Amanda. She says the years of torment caused her to hide her personality. She hoped she would become invisible to her bullies. She even had strategies she used on a daily basis to avoid those who bullied her. "I would sit in the front of the classroom, because the bullies sat in the back," said Amanda, "So, i would at least have one a period away from them. I would also wait until after class to ask a question, because I didn't want them to make fun of me."
Another victim of bullying is 12 year old Kate. She also wanted to remain anonymous, because she is still dealing with a school bully. Kate's emotional abuse started four years ago when she was in 3rd grade. "I was scared of her. I felt alone. I felt I had no friends," said Kate. Kate's mom got involved and had her taken out of the class she shared with her bully; after one particular threat sent Kate home frightened for her family's safety. "She told me her dad was going to burn my house down," said Kate,"I said okay, but i was really scared."
Counselor Chandra Brown says Kate's mom did the right thing. Brown says it is a parent's job to let the school know when bullying is a problem; whether their children want them to or not. "At some point we have to step in and protect our children when they can't do it for themselves," said Brown. Kate also says that the threats aren't just verbal at her school. She says cells phones are snuck into school and used to text threats, and to take embarrassing photos in bathrooms. And, then there is the internet, Kate says false claims of drug use and promiscuity are made against innocent girls on sites like myspace. Bryant sees that problem with the kids that she counsels. "It's a quick way to get the lies spread," said Bryant.
While it is more difficult for schools to monitor 'cyber-bullying', Mobile County Schools work to prevent bullying through their character education curriculum, which helps teach students about how harmful bullying can be. Administrators say it is crucial that students report instances of bullying to a staff member they trust, before a situation turns dangerous. "If it's bullying, it can lead up to a violent situation," said Andrea Barbour, Assistant Superintendant of Student Services, "We want to be proactive."
It was actually the threat of physical violence that lead Amanda and Kate to get help. But, Amanda is now a freshmen in college and has a new perspective. She has even forgiven her bullies. "I can look back and know that I learned from it," said Amanda,"And, I can tell girls it does get better." After counseling, Kate has learned to deal with her tormentor too. "Now i just walk away, it's easier to just walk away," said Kate.
Call Lifelines Family Counseling Center at 251.431.5100 to get more information on bullying.
www.bullypolice.org gives tips on how to deal with 'cyber bullies'. The website lists instructions on how to stop or remove cyber-information.
'Take Action Against Bullying' has information for parents, teachers, and kids on how to handle a school bully. Just go to www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov
Also, try www.stopbullyingnow.com or www.schoolcounselor.org
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