Nab, maybe I didn't make myself clear. What I was saying is that there are people out there that are struggling on the income that they do get and taking their family out to eat once a month is a treat. I do understand (because I HAVE actually waited tables before) that the customary tip is 20%. If you read her thread, she did say that they do tip. At least she doesn't go in there and her family of 8 eats but they do not tip. All I was trying to say was, with a family of 8, which doesn't include friends, she just needs to take what they give her. I suppose that if you do not have a family of 8 then you may not be able to understand her situation. I don't think her post sounds rude at all, I just think she may have been trying to give an insight to some larger families (and I'm not talking about a family that consists of friends and relatives, I'm talking about Mom, Dad, and children family).

I do believe that these huge companies that have like a 100 restaurants all over the US are way underpaying the whole entire work staff. Maybe there should be like a strike against these companies to raise the wage of waiters and waitress'. They do have it made right now. They pay you little to nothing, the public eats out and makes up the difference, and they get our money for the meal plus we finish THEIR part of the wage. I, in my opinion, think it should be left up the customer, if he/she would like to tip. There again, you will have people that will say, "I don't have to tip" and don't. I am not against amber-marie, but what I am saying is that, there are some people who struggle to make it day to day, just like her. I don't think kissing and her family should be punished for not tipping 20%. They, just like everyone, deserves a nice night out too. Like she said, they do tip, just not 20% all the time.

I grew up in a family of 7. If my parents couldn't tip then we wouldn't go out, and they would always make it clear that this was why we were not going out to eat. As a child I did not understand, but now... I do. We were also on a fixed income. My dad is (siempre fie) a Marine, everyone knows they really are not payed as well as they should be, and my mom was a stay at home mom. So I, personally, do undestand the situation. But I still do not agree with the concept of not tipping because of that situation.

O.k. Amber-marie, I did ask a few friends who wait tables in Mobile and they lol when I told them your predicament simply because Fairhope is not known to be the Fine Dining mecca of the south. Now the money they make is what they consider substantial for anywhere in our region. I'm not going to say where they work but I will say that Old shell Rd. Airport Blvd. and the Cause way areas are places you may want to check into. Does your restaurant not add 18% gratuity to tables of five or more by rule? If they don't , I would suggest to your next low/non tipping group to go through the drive-thru and solve the tipping issue all together. If your restaurant is geographically challenged to properly tip, maybe its time to 86 it.

No, Fairhope is not the Fine Dining Mecca of the south. But guess where all the money is? Guess who comes in EVERY DAY AND NIGHT, fairhope residents. They go to the fine dining places about once a week I would predict.

Those are places I do not want to check into because as previously stated... I don't do corporate- - From my expirience, its worse there. Now maybe your friends are privledged and have had great expiriences. But, i HATE... LOATHE...working in corporate resturuants. I also stated above that I have to work there. I am in a situation that I cannot find another job until I graduate college.

No we do not add gratuity unless we "know" that they wont tip, and the owner has to approve it.

We are not geographically challenged. Like I said in my first post, I normally make enough money to live and then some. But lately, since Christmas, people feel the need to NOT tip because they are still recovering. My suggestion to those people was to NOT go out to eat unless they are willing to tip the proper 20%.

I did a little googling, trying to find statistical data on what groups are the best and worst tippers. Unfortunately there was a huge difference of opinion except for these three agreements:

The worst tippers are older men and women. However, it's not because (as I thought) they're stingy or poor but apparently because they fail to understand the concept of inflation. One writer likened it to the way your grandma still gives you as an adult five or ten bucks for Christmas.

The best tippers are middle-aged men, providing their server doesn't annoy them by wasting their time with a lot of small talk. Apparently that group is happy to pay well for being tended to while not being bothered while they're enjoying their meal.

And the overwhelming opinion is that teenagers' and college students' tips are strictly based on how hot their server is.

-nab

Pray tell Amber, how do people know that you are Jewish, when you are taking their order????? And why can you not get a job elsewhere?? Is the owner holding a gun to your head to keep you working there??? Maybe the owner is your parents....... Sorry to get your blood pressure up, but, you do sound like you have a giant chip on your shoulder. Get over it and do something to make yourself happy.

Oh..ok....now I totally understand......I've taken a few of those courses......kerrrr-ayyy-zeeee.

I totally agree with you amber-marie. I am also a student in a hard program and I have also waited tables for the past 3-4 years. I absolutely do not sympathise with people who say they do not tip because of their financial situation. The truth is, the vast majority of people who do not tip are either ignorant or just stingy. If you have a family (4) and you eat at a casual dining restaurant(Ruby Tuesdays, etc.), maybe your bill will be $50. 15% is the usual lowest acceptable tip by server standards. Those of you who are servers understand what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't..above 15% and the sever goes on about their night, below 15% an the server uses vulgar language to describe you and your family to their co-workers. Get the point. Anyway, back on subject. Would it kill a person to bump up your tip from 10% (5.00) to 15%(7.50). I doubt it. Its just the stingy nature that so many people have ingrained into them. If I turn 20 tables a night the difference between the two averages means only $2.50 to the tipper but $45.00 to the server.

There is a bigger issue than this. Some of the contributors spoke of having sympathy to fixed income families or low income households. This is bogus. It is actually the inverse of what really should be the case. Let me enlighten you. Joe brown goes to his factory job in which he gets paid a meager $10 an hour to support his family. Joe Brown is a hard worker. One day his boss approaches him and says "Joe, you do good work, so I want you to work twice as hard for half the pay." His boss then cannot figure out why Joe's attitude toward work has suddenly changed from happy to angry.

Do you get it. Who do you feel sorry for now. Probably not his boss. This is what happens when people with large families come into a restaurant. It's usuallyy twice the work for half the money. we have to pay our bills just like the people who come in, only we're expected to smile and act happy no matter what happens. When you eat out you are the boss, only for some reason society says that paying you employees is optional. So what kind of boss do you want to be. A good boss or one that the workers dread coming around.

People are spoiled in this country. I have been fortunate to travel abroad and see how it works in other countries. The service isn't nearly as good and the gratuity is not optional. I hope I have at least persuaded some to rethink their views of tipping. We're people too, we just have to pretend we like our jobs.

Good reply, Thatguy. Though I agree with you and WISH what you've said would cause some people to rethink their views on tipping, I don't think it will happen. When you're talking about money - your OWN money - you can always rationalize why you do what you do so you don't have to spend as much as you might otherwise have to. People who short-tip waitstaff are not thinking about their server of how unfair their actions are to them. They're only thinking of themselves.

-nab

Thanks so much Thatguy, I totally agree with you. And as a side note - where did you travel abroad? For my major we get to go to London for 3 months. I'm really excited about it, I need one more class to qualify though.

How do people know I'm Jewish? I have a star of david necklace that is pretty much attatched to my body that I never take off. And if you read my previous post, NO I CANNOT GET A JOB ELSWHERE. Did I not make that clear?
And no I do not have a giant chip on my shoulder. I just have a HUGE problem with people who can't seem to understand WHY servers get upset when they tip the way they do. I am assuming you are one of those 10% tippers? -- and you know what? I am happy. Verry happy and struggling so much right now to pay tuition and ridiculous power bills. But, no I am not unhappy....just annoyed. I am sure you can figure out at who without me again repeating it.

Ditto to absolutely everything Thatguy said.

-ah I forgot to add something. There are people who come in, who completely expect you do feed them with a spoon. I have this one gentlemen who comes in about once a week i HATE waiting on him. He continuosly compares my job to owning a Dairy Queen... tries to talk to me when he knows I am busy.....has me cut his salad up...put the dressing on it, put it in a togo box, shake it, pour it out onto a plate....sometimes I need to recut it three or four times before he is satisfied. The first time I waited on him, I though "well- atleast I'll get a better tip from him" Oh no. $2. Everytime, never fails. He is not the only one, thats just merely a recent example. I could go on and on. But, in regards to my first post. He, and many others, are the reasons that I will not go over the top for you unless I know it will be worth my time.