Some of y'all may remember that there was another WKRG Forum years ago. It was a great place to hang out and I not only learned a lot, I made friends...some of whom I still have today. I learned things about subjects I'd known nothing about and certain posters changed the way I thought about long-held ideas, for which I'm very grateful. But some of the things I learned are about message boards themselves and I thought I'd share them here.
# 1 - BE NICE
Just as our moms told us we can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so it is on a message board. Of course, that's only if we want to enjoy intelligent conversation - which should be what all of us want. After all, if we only wanted to hear our own thoughts we'd be better off writing in a journal or diary.
I remember there were two guys on the old forum. One's name was ShinKin and the other I can't remember (which will fit nicely into my illustration in a minute). Both these men had radically different opinions than I did on politics though agreed with each other. But they had completely different posting styles. ShinKin was intelligent and articulate and wrote all his posts and replies in a thoughtful manner that made others want to hear more and ask questions - even if they didn't agree with what he was saying. "Other" was intelligent and articulate too, but all his posts were full of anger, combative and loud. He thought everyone who didn't agree with him was stupid and made it clear he wasn't interested in hearing feedback from anyone who didn't share his opinions.
In time (a long time), the more I listened to what ShinKen had to say, the more I realized that in many ways he was right. It only took someone explaining things in a different way, with respect and kindness, to whittle away on my stubborn beliefs until little by little I changed the way I thought...and not to be overly-dramatic, also changed my life.
"Other" on the other hand, though his opinions were basically the same as ShinKin's, drove people away, alienated them into disliking him, and even made the good things he had to say disappear behind his anger.
Honey versus vinegar. Funny how moms are always right.
# 2 - WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NEW TO SAY, BE QUIET
Some folks are very vocal about what they think but have a limited amount of knowledge about a particular subject. It's fine and good to talk about what we know, but when we reach the end of our thoughts and can add no more to the conversation, it's time to stop talking.
I liken it to an amateur garage band who takes their music to a park. They play their small repertoire of songs and people gather round and enjoy listening. But pretty soon they've played everything they know so they start playing the same songs again. People in the audience shout out new songs, new suggestions, new requests...but the band doesn't listen. They don't care about what others want to hear...they're gonna keep belting out the same parade of songs they know no matter what. And eventually all the audience gets tired of listening to the same old stuff over and over and over again and finally goes away and the band is left singing their few songs to an empty park.
If only the band had listened to the audience.
# 3 - IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST WORD
Seriously.
-nab
